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Improve your shamings of drunken friends

Published 2 days ago
By Ryan McKee

Your friends need to be embarrassed, and there's no better way to do that than by completely defacing them while they are passed-out drunk. In our ongoing coverage of this important bonding activity, Asylum columnist and animator Ryan McKee has explored various ways you can make the most out of your next shaming.

Click here to see the video, after the jump.

Tent of the future looks like a snail

Published 2 days ago
By G. Xavier Robillard

Orange claims their concept for a new solar eco tent will allow "campers to keep in touch and power their essential camping gadgets." In other words, you'll now be able to text rescuers next time you're surrounded by bears.

The tent features photovoltaic panels to keep everything all charged up, an RFID tag to find your tent using SMS, wireless chargers for your gadgets, and our favourite -- a heated floor that will turn on when the temp drops below a certain threshold.

As a bonus, if a chipmunk happens to gnaw through your tent's wiring, you'll also be able to dine on fried rodent. No price yet, but if you're planning on taking one to a festival then be prepared to have it be stolen immediately by a dozen different people -- such is the price of fashion when you camp in a Reading field with 10,000 Slayer fans.

Shameful mixtures of cricket and sex -- a history

Published 2 days ago
By Michael Rundle

Combining cricket and sex is a pointless exercise. It simply never works. IPL cheerleaders, nudes in lad's mags holding bats and balls, cricket-themed porn sites and Brian Lara Cricket booth babes -- all have entered the game of late and all are about as sexy as Merv Hughes in a thong.

Why? Becuase this is cricket -- a game for ugly men in jumpers, a game for long, drawn out boredom spotted with an occasional wicket and a hesitant fielding change. Call us bluff old traditionalists, but we don't want to see glamour models in cricket pads holding a bat like they're about to chop some wood.*

As the Ashes approach, Asylum has therefore dived into the archives of Google Image Search to examine the history of attempts to combine cricket and sex. Feel free to review the evidence -- we think you'll agree that the two worlds of cricket and porn should be kept far, far away from each other.



Shameful Combinations of Cricket and Sex

    ZooMagazine put together this spread of cricket babes before the 2007 world cup. In their sense cricket babes are defined as any babe related to a cricketer, dating a cricketer or holding a bat. But how did cricket reach this point? When did the game of kings become a game of babes? Let's take a look back in time...

    ZooToday.com.au

    In 1910 this group of young women played cricket on the beach at Swansea. This is the first recorded game of sexy cricket we could find -- little did these girls know what they were getting us all into.

    Getty Images

    In 1932 this photographer hit on something special -- by combining a hot MILF, a dog and a cricket bat he could create the perfect storm of things that turn on gents of the depression.

    Getty Images

    In May 1934 cricketing standards took another dive as the skirt was introduced as standard uniform for a brief, but damaging, period...

    Getty Images

    The sixties saw liberation on all fronts, including the realm of cricket sexiness and novelty records.

    MFP

    Fast forward to our own era, and the discovery that Photoshopped babes can be combined with Photoshopped cricket gear.

    CKM

    As part of the promotion campaign for a recent edition of Brian Lara Cricket for the Playstation, it was decided bikini babes would do better business than the man whose name graces the cover...

    Brian Lara Cricket

    ... sadly there has never been a less convincing shot of a booth babe playing video games than this one.

    Brian Lara Cricket

    A few years ago one enterprising Australian Porn site hit on the idea of combining ladies, bikinis and cricket to sell memberships to its NSFW section.

    AustralianBikini.com.au

    Call us prudes, but we think this might be a little tacky. Alas this site has now been shut down. Not that we checked...

    AustralianBikini.com.au



*We should add that actual female cricketers are an entirely different story. They're sexy because they're brilliant at cricket, and because they're not awkwardly arranged in the buff holding a leather ball.

Find treasure among the trash with Found's Davy Rothbart

Published 2 days ago
By Emily McCombs

Davy Rothbart has built a franchise on recycling other people's garbage. He's the editor and publisher of FOUND magazine, a Web site and annual publication dedicated to the following found stuff: "Love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles and anything else that gives a glimpse into someone else's life."

The FOUND brand has also spread to books, including the latest, Requiem for a Paper Bag, in which stars like Seth Rogen, Andy Samberg, Chuck Klosterman and Sarah Vowell tell their best "found object" stories.

Rothbart recently gave us his best tips for making good finds below.

You don't have to go out hunting for it.
Rothbart: "It's just in your everyday awareness. On the way to school or work, keep your eyes to the ground and check out little scraps of paper. Pick them up and look at them. Flip it over with your shoe and see if it's a gem."

There are some hot spots for amazing finds.
"If you live or work near a school, kids are great at losing stuff and the stuff they lose is pretty awesome. University computer centres have like 100 computers and two printers up front. People print out email and weird term papers and leave it stacked up there. You can sift through a month's worth of printouts. Public transportation like buses and subway trains always seem to attract found stuff. At photocopy shops open the copier and see if someone has left an original on the glass."

Learn why love notes are found gold, after the jump.

Adorably vile boxer crowned world's ugliest dog

Published 2 days ago
By Michael Rundle

Among the many intellectual and artistic pursuits enjoyed by us culture vultures at Asylum, the annual World's Ugliest Dog contest has to be among the highlights.

This year's contest was recently held in Northern California, and while we weren't on the scene for a live satellite link up, we were following events avidly from afar.

This year's eventual winner was a boxer-mix named Pabst, who features a terrible underbite, silly ears and an extremely awkward gait. Still, Pabst's victory was something of a surprise, since former champion Rascal has, if anything, become only uglier still in the last twelve months.

Miles Egstad, Pabst's owner, took home $1,600 (around $2,000) for his win, and also won a modelling contract with something called 'House of Dog'.

To see the best pictures from the event check out our favourite pics from the event after the jump.

The 13 greatest PG nude scenes of all time

Published 2 days ago
By Asylum Staff

A very special contribution from our friends at Mr. Skin.

Twenty-five American summers ago, the PG-rated blockbusters "Gremlins" and "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" proved to be so violent and scary that parents demanded a new movie rating. At issue were films that were not quite "E.T."-level family friendly, but also not really deserving of the R-rating that went to "Bachelor Party" or "Purple Rain."

In response, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) concocted the PG-13, which "strongly cautioned" parents if they were considering allowing tykes under age 13 to see a film bearing the new rating. The first Hollywood film to carry the PG-13 imprimatur was "Red Dawn," which hit theaters on August 10, ablaze with combat action and explosive mayhem, but no nudity. Five days later, funnyman Gene Wilder's "The Woman in Red" (pictured) opened, and took full-frontal naked advantage of its PG-13.

Since then, PG-13 nudity has been rare, but when it happens, it's often done well. Here in Australia, PG-13 movies either get shunted up into M if they push a bit too far, or left in PG territory when it's just the American prudes at work. Either way, I'm sure we can all appreciate a bit of subtle skin revelation.

After the jump, check out a countdown of 13 examples of such heady moments, while considering yourself "strongly cautioned."

Waltzing Matilda now a hit in Spain

Published 2 days ago
By Seamus Byrne

If there's one thing about our unofficial national anthem, it's that it is incredibly parochial. Swagman, billabong, coolabah, billy, jumbuck. It's not the sort of thing other countries really 'get' without having grown up with it.

So it's very weird to hear Waltzing Matilda pop up in a Spanish phone company commercial. It has that classic sound we all know of a hundred kids in school singing at assembly. And according to the story it's been a massive hit. Chat rooms and talk back radio alike have been discussing the nuances of the song and what exactly the man put in his 'ta-ka' bag.

Spoiler alert: I wonder what they'll think once they realise the swaggie dies at the end.

Dawkins helps create Atheism Camp for kids

Published 2 days ago
By Adam K. Raymond

Prominent atheist Richard Dawkins is helping to turn the tradition of a summer Bible camp (which thankfully never quite caught on here in Oz) on its reverent and respectful head by supporting the launch of a camp for godless heathens, reports U.K. newspaper Times Online.

For five days this July, Camp Quest will welcome atheists to learn about moral philosophy, sing John Lennon songs and compete (for cash prizes) to disprove the existence of the unicorn. This will be the first such camp in the U.K., while six others exist in the U.S.

While some people think this is a great chance for young atheists to reaffirm their beliefs while learning to think rationally, others see it as some sort of godless indoctrination camp that's sure to create murderous communists.

But in reality the atheist camp and God camps seem pretty much the same -- full of kids whose parents forced a viewpoint upon them and then made them go sit in the woods to think about it while all the normals play Xbox back home.