Get ready for more boozing, spousal abuse, and over-the-top workplace sexual harassment, because "Mad Men" is back. Asylum USA recently spent a night in Times Square for a special screening event, complete with free fedoras, sexy cigarette girls dispensing candy and certified "Maddicts" competing in a costume contest. Bryan Batt, who plays closet case Salvatore Romano on the series, was even on hand to watch the episode -- which proved to be particularly provocative for his character.

Asylum couldn't have been more excited for last night's third season premiere, because we admire its blistering depiction of social mores in the early 1960s. But, as serious boozers and nicotine fiends, we also love that it's the only show on TV that actually shows its characters drinking and smoking. (Even the "Weeds" cast barely tokes these days.)

In honor of the return of the Sterling Cooper crew, we present the five most memorably drunken moments in "Mad Men" history. Mix us up a nice Old Fashioned, won't you, Sally?


Roger Pukes In Front of Clients
In the memorable season one episode "Red in the Face," Don gets retaliation for Roger hitting on his wife Betty by getting him wasted on martinis over oysters before a big meeting with the Nixon campaign. Unbeknownst to Roger, Don has bribed the elevator operator to shut down, causing them to walk up several flights. Strapping Don can handle his liquor, but poor Roger ends up yakking up oysters in front of the new clients. Don Draper always wins.

Young Sally Mixes Drinks
Young Sally Draper is already taking after her parents -- over the course of two seasons she's already tried smoking and gotten hammered from a leftover glass of whiskey in Don's office. Sally has proven to be a master mixologist, fixing Tom Collins for party guests and whipping up Bloody Marys on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Sally's either going to grow up to be the greatest bartender of all time, or a serious drunkard. We're guessing the latter.

Freddy Wets His Pants At the Office
Sauced before a presentation, and fixing drinks for the rest of the Sterling Cooper gang, Freddy suddenly does something reserved for toddlers and crazy homeless people. Of course everyone is amused by a grown man pissing himself, but things turn sad once Freddy passes out. Oh, Freddy. Your crippling alcoholism is so amusing.

Don Abandons His Daughter's Birthday Party
In one of the show's many dead-on depictions of suburban hell, Don leaves Sally's party to pick up a cake, only to park by the train tracks and get wasted in order to avoid more awkward family time. Few "Mad Men" moments are sadder than Betty serving frozen Sara Lee to the party guests.

Roger Rides Horseback On A Twin
Instead of going home for a holiday weekend, Roger and Don get blitzed at the office and hang out with twins Roger picks up at a casting call. Roger is in rare form here, getting the twins to kiss, before treating one like his personal pony. All of this debauchery leads Roger to have a heart attack, proving once again that middle-aged men can't cut the frat guy thing. But even on the gurney Roger is a cad -- Don has to remind him of his own wife's name.

Got any other favorite boozy "Mad Men" moments? Let us know in the comments.