Fresh news from the University of the Bloody Obvious, which has announced that the holy grail of sexual efficiency, the booty call, "...is a compromise that works for both men and women."On breaking the news Dr Peter Jonson (New Mexico State University, in truth) was keen to point out the beauty of the booty text in particular, saying it allows "people to not lose face if they are rejected and to send the same message to more than one person at once, increasing the odds of finding someone to agree to have sex with."
But is it as simple as a case of good odds, where the sexually bold play on a carnal roulette wheel? Because if there's one thing any man can cock up, it's the chance of some string-free sex.
So as a guide to help the intrepid potential booty texter (of which Arsene Wenger is not, necessarily one - we just like the piccie) here's Asylum's ten-strong list of what not to SMS your part-time lover. Thank us after the jump...
1. I'm drunk AND horny. Are *you* drunk and horny?
2. Yep, that's me ringing your door bell. LOL!
3. I've got to tell you this ROFL-tacular joke, but it needs to be told in person. In bed. Tackle out.
4. Do you have anything to eat in your fridge? Because I'd love to have sex with you in the next half hour.
5. I'm not sure which Sarah this is, but just on the off chance, do you fancy spending the next six and a half minutes in my company?
6. Fw: Yo, wassup lay-dee, you busy honey? Iz just been to chemist, ya get me? You know...? To purchase prophylactics in order that we might have safe sexual intercourse? --- TB.
7. I hope this isn't too forward, and I know you're a friend of my sister's, but do you fancy tapping something tonight? i.e.... me?
8. I already asked your sister, she said no, thought you might be worth a punt.
9. I'm bored. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
10. As of an hour ago, I'm rash free!
